Five top tips on how to be a great mentor

The APM Mentoring Programme has well over 300 people on its books – all of whom volunteer their time to support, inspire and guide others in their careers. There are plenty of compelling reasons: mentoring can make an incredible difference to people at work – broadening their perspectives, strengthening their decision-making and boosting their sense of self.

It’s also a boon for the mentor who is sharing their wisdom and experiences, and for businesses and the project profession as a whole. Thinking of getting involved? Here are five tips for becoming a brilliant mentor…

1. Make sure it’s a good fit

When you sign up to be a mentor, you’re committing to building a relationship. It’s a personal thing and there are no rules shaping how it should play out, so you need to ensure you’re compatible as soon as you can.

“I ask my mentees to think about what they expect from the mentoring, so I can understand whether I'm able to help and guide them,” says Kumar Pillai, Senior Project Manager and mentor at AtkinsRéalis. Pillai once dedicated two full sessions to establishing that he and his mentee could work well together.

If you don’t feel you can help, say so quickly and suggest where they may find an alternative. If you do choose to go ahead, make sure the arrangement works for you, too.

“I’m not too strict with timings,” says Pillai. “If they can't make it or are running late, they let me know. But it needs to fit around my projects and schedule. If I'm not able to do justice to something, I won’t take it on.”

2. Be ready to benefit too

A mentor-mentee dynamic may suggest a hierarchy, but you’ll get far more from it by treating it as a genuine exchange. So, what do you stand to gain? As well as helping people grow and making a difference to the performance of a business, you’ll expose yourself to new ideas and ways of thinking.

“Part of the value I get is seeing how people are working outside my organisation or in a different department,” says David Soutar, Head of Project Management at United Utilities.

You’ll also get a chance to keep alive some memories of experiences that may otherwise fade. Of course, the onus should always be on what the mentee is getting out of the process. “I tend to put the emphasis on the mentee to make the effort, so if they lose interest, I let them regain their own momentum,” Soutar adds.

3. Listen carefully

Relationships require trust, which means extending genuine empathy and finding out what the mentee really needs – even if they’re not able to express that themselves.
“It pays to explore,” says Ian Blanks-Walden, Managing Consultant at AtkinsRéalis. “They may present in one way but there’s nearly always more to it.”

Blanks-Walden is an experienced coach, who points out that a coaching approach can be useful for mentors too. He recommends the four levels of listening. Developed by MIT’s Otto Scharmer, the model charts a path from the most perfunctory listening to generative listening, a profound level where people connect to their deeper selves and true potential.

“It’s about really trying to understand not just what, but why,” he says.

4. Put the right amount of you into it

Never underestimate how valuable it can be for a mentee to hear about your experiences and learnings. Be confident about sharing your stories, but ensure the focus remains on the mentee. Bring other resources, case studies and ideas to the table too, keeping your responses aligned to specific questions.

You should also be quick to point out that this is just your subjective experience.

“When sharing your experiences, point out that you can’t guarantee you can solve their problem,” says Pillai. “I tell mentees how I dealt with it, but that they may want to choose a different path once they’ve had some ideas from me.”

5. Add some formality to the process

Dedicated online mentoring platforms provide a central location where you can keep track of meetings and share ideas and materials, which can make the process more effective for both of you.

“If someone reaches out directly, I try to get them to use the APM channels, so I can keep track and add some formality to the process,” says Soutar. “APM has been doing a great series of briefings this year on how its online portal works. As a mentor who’s not working in the APM ecosystem every day, they’ve been invaluable.”